y did u give ur computer a hand job?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
