I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
