just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
