I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
