bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
