OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize