he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize