Rock
Scissors
Fuck
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
