We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
