Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
