there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize