How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
