im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
