Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
My underwear smells like fireworks.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
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