I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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