before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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