This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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