I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
