is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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