Having a random hookup so left but love u
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
