I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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