what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
