what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
i drank out of a bidet.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
