Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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