He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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