Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
