I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
