Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize