And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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