so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I FOUND THE LEGS
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
