Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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