im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
