I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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