You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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