brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
