all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
