Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
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