i think i have two assholes
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Randomize
