I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize