I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
