I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
