I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
