Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
