I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
