I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Randomize
