better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
