i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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