walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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