He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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