i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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