Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
