i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
