apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize