When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize