im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
