it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
