I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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