I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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