Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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