She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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