Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Randomize
