All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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