rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
