if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
