ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
