your room smells of hookers.
And success
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
