So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
we're so committed to being not committed
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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