I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
