i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
