In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I look better un-naked...
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
