after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
