none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
