the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I deserve to be covered in dicks
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Randomize
