I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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