Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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