HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
