Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
