Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
